Has the world gone mad, or just our roofers?

Weekly Industry Recap: week ending 28 Mar 2013:

I don’t know if it’ something in the water or what, but it seems like UK roofers have gone completely around the bend according to the latest news stories!

Normally this weekly news post is all about how roofing specialists come to the aid of householders in need, but it seems like last week was just filled with rather embarrassing stories of serious misconduct. In fact, one story recounts how one roofer was nicked for drink driving, but not before first trying to outrun a police vehicle, despite the fact his own car was actually missing one of its tyres at the time!

It was around 2.40 in the morning when police noticed a Vauxhall Astra careering down the A688 near Coundon, shooting sparks from its front offside wheel. As any concerned police officer would do, he put on his siren and flashing lights in the hopes that it would cause the driver of the Astra to pull over, yet he did just the opposite – the madman actually sped up until hitting anywhere between 40 and 50 mph, causing what was left of the wheel to continue disintegrating.

Making matters worse, the lunatic actually sped up and hit around 80 miles an hour as the Astra approached Spennymoor’s Gasworks roundabout. Perhaps the driver in his addled state thought that he could hit 88 miles an hour and end up back in time like Marty McFly, thus avoiding being nicked by the fuzz, but the roofer instead found himself fleeing on foot after his vehicle skidded out, striking the kerb and almost upending itself; luckily the pugnaciously drunk man ended up being caught outside a nearby pub – as if he hadn’t had enough already!

The less said about this man’s behaviour, the better. I briefly considered naming the roofer to shame him for his outrageous behaviour, but let’s be honest: the less said about this fool, the better – and besides, there were more foolhardy roofing specialists in the news this week giving the profession a black eye.

In fact, one roofer felt that it was a good idea to try to scare off a bailiff that was attempting to tow away his Ford Transit van for unpaid parking fines by going after the poor man with a slate ripper, a long, rather threatening tool that resembles a machete and is designed to remove nails. This was, according to court documents, right after he threatened to smash the bailiff’s vehicle with a sledgehammer and actually abused his own wife in public because she had the temerity to offer to pay the outstanding fine right then and there and thus avoid the whole need to have the van towed in the first place.

So yes, let’s get things straight: this bastard roofer not only lost his mind in threatening a bailiff with bodily harm but actually beat his wife when she attempted to defuse the situation. I hope this man never gets another roofing job as long as he lives, as he obviously doesn’t deserve to represent the rest of the nation’s professional roofing experts – they’re not all barmy berks, believe it or not!

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